About Love Letters
If it’s true the root of the word courage (cor) is Latin for “heart” and its earliest form meant to speak by sharing everything in one’s heart, then Ali Gray’s newest release, Love Letters, is a triumph of courage.
The third solo album from Minneapolis singer-songwriter Gray, Love Letters was spurred by the abrupt death of a troubled, close friend – and all the attendant regrets one can have about not having done more to help. “That was the impetus,” says Gray. “I then ended up going to a cabin alone and wrote song after song to people I care about – lyrical letters about things I want to say to each before it’s too late.”
Right from the opening track, “Love Letter”, we’re thrust into that immediacy. Though intended only as a demo, “none of the more ‘produced’ efforts we subsequently recorded seemed as real, vulnerable or good,” says Gray. “The demo was quieter; more raw and stripped down. Being this track is what catapulted the record, I ended up wanting to keep to that way – to honor my friend and his song, and the message behind it that led to all the others.”
What follows are nine tracks written for her daughter, husband, mother and father, sister, plus a small handful of close friends – and perhaps one crucial enemy: “Barstool Boyfriend” turns sentiment and confessional upside down as she vents anger and hurt toward an ex, concluding with an unexpected twist (“sometimes I wish I had me a gun / I’d blow your brains out / now that sounds fun”). And “Anchor” actually comprises a note penned to herself; a bittersweet yet hopeful song about Gray’s personal battles with depression and anxiety. The album concludes with a lullaby-worthy version of The Hollies’ “The Air That I Breathe”.
Those familiar with Gray’s past work know it leaned solidly toward rootsy Americana with touches of ‘70s rock. “And a lot of lovelorn tales,” she professes with a laugh. “But as much as I’m fond of those styles, this album has been about reconciling who and how I am. I have a strong voice and can get it to do what I want, but I also know I’m no Janis or Aretha. I wanted this record to be softer, fluid, more open; I wanted it to represent more of what I’m really like and less of what I might sometimes wish I was like.”
For Gray, the genuineness of that choice – and the deep-seated honesty of the material – is what will be most fear-inducing as Love Letters goes public. Her utmost hope is the innate intimacy of the songs will transcend their predominantly personal nature for audiences. “I hope the listener will hear the heart and soul behind it – that it will carry over to others, lend comfort and possibly help others articulate what’s in their own hearts for the people in their lives while the opportunity is still there.”
Love Letter
I’ve been putting together pieces
Trying to work it out
It seems you were in pieces
there is no doubt
Was there even just one moment?
That I could have helped
Did I miss that one moment?
When you still had hope
Chorus:
This is my love letter to you
I am not sure you ever knew
How much you meant to me
How much I miss you
This is my love letter to you
I am filled with so many could haves
That wont get me far
Just filled with so many should haves
should have called you more
So I have wanted to ask you
But you aren’t here
Was I a good friend to you?
Whisper in my ear
If I could reach you
I would go there
I would pick you up, fix you, it’s not fair
Dandelion Crowns
You wrapped us up
Rocked us to sleep
Made dandelion crowns
Prayed our souls to keep
If I should be
just like you
then I would be the best I ever knew
I colored in the lines you
Paid close attention
Wanted a cultured life
Was always your intention
Remember the times, it was just you and me
Not a cent (dollar) to spend yet seemed so free
You took me to the store
Right to the dolly aisle
I knew the score
You had to save awhile
We travelled near and far
All in the name of art
But spending time with you was my favorite part
I knew you had pain you
Never talked about it
But even as a kid I’d
Sometimes pick up on it
So many nights I know you must have cried
but every morning all I saw was pride
The Thing I Have To Say
I was 8 and 10 and 16 sitting in class
None the wiser, banking on time to pass
You burst through the door suit all shiny
Say, It’s time to go, I’m a little clammy
We jump in your fast car
I think we got away
Sometimes we got pulled over
But it was always the best day
Before you go, there’s things I have to say
I think you’re the greatest in every way
I hope I’ve made you proud
I hope you find me humble
I try to get right back up
Even after I stumble
People wait till it’s too late
To say the right thing
And even though you hate it
I think you’re amazing
No one is perfect, not even you
But somehow through your mistakes
You still came to my rescue
From mean girls in school
To the “not marrying kinds”
You gave it to me straight
Even when love left me blind
Now here we are, life is pretty easy
No more kid stuff, it’s all been pretty breezy
But tell me one more story
from your days of glory
I’ll hang on every word,
Because one day i will be sorry
Barstool Boyfriend
When I met you You led with charm
So damn handsome I was disarmed
We had such a blast Taking on the town
Little did I know? You were just a clown
You were my Barstool Boyfriend, Barstool partner
Only fun when we’re in a bar together
Politics don’t bother me none
When things get hazy Even you are fun
All your friends thought I was the best
Can’t imagine What the rest were like
I should have known You never heard Springsteen
Thought you were funny No you were just plain mean
Now here we are Ten years fly by
Sober as a judge And all I ask is why me?
I hear you talkin’ Wish I could plug my ears
You’re saying nothing A bunch of wasted years
Now you’re my Barstool Husband, Barstool partner
Only fun when we’re in a bar together
Sometimes I wish I had me a gun
I’d blow your brains out
Now that sounds fun
You Are Talking About My Sister
I feel so damn helpless
Watching it all play out
Everyone seems so damn reckless
Some keep it in some lash out
And here I am so tight lipped
Wanting all to speak out or me
So afraid to rock the boat
Taking my cue from Let It Be
But it’s time to find the courage
It’s personal to me you see
You are talking about my sister
She practically raised me
She raised 3 kids on a teacher budget
She wants to change the world, and still finds faith in it
She believes in God and bows in his mercy
Please tell me, what’s the controversy?
She loves Grape Nuts and strong black coffee
She hates to cry, that’s where we disagree
She feels injustice and won’t take the blame
I’m fairly certain, we’d all feel the same
I get you are scared
Of what you do not know
But I’m tired of giving you a pass
It’s a game of dominos
Im standing proud my head held high
No more hiding in the back
I’ll raise my hand you can call on me
I need to pick up my slack
Better Version of Me
You’ve taught me to dream, You’ve taught me to fall
In your miracle, With you I have it all
When I lived without you, Tried to make perfection
In all space and song, Now you are the exception
guarded before you, Dotting every I
I paved the way and yet I can’t deny
You arrive here showing me my plan had failed
You have convinced me to do a past life exhale
Of all the things I hope you are
You hitch your wagon to a star
Fly high above all fear
cause they can interfere (I know they interfere)
you’ll lead with love and warmth and grace
and never feel you have to chase
I just know you’ll be- a better version of me
you’ll have self-worth, know what is right
and never backdown from a fight
You'll speak in words that take a stand
and always lend a helping hand
Woe Is Me
Milk chocolate eyes, looking my way
I nearly choked, on my chardonnay
Shiny black hair, strong dimpled chin
If we were playing “Hold ‘Em,” I’d be all in
Then we locked eyes, just like in the movies
Man, this guy, did something to me
Weak in my knees, come closer please
I looked him, up and down, all around, north to south
Then he had to open his mouth, wouldn’t you know it?
Then he had to open his mouth, completely blow it
Then he had to open his mouth, and it was too late
Then he had to open his mouth, wish I had duct tape
Woe, is me, I could have stared at him for hours
There won’t be, any diamond ring or baby showers
Why is it that every single time I see a really really really hot guy
He’s arrogant, dumb, or both?
Why’d he have to open his mouth?, it’s such a puzzle?
Why’d he have to open his mouth?, could have used a muzzle
Why’d he have to open his mouth?, no talent, no class
Why’d he have to open his mouth?, another gorgeous dumb-ass, woe is me
Anchor
I Fly I Fly Away
What I leave behind today has dramatically changed
I was always alone on my own
Finally feel all connected attached at the bone
Who was I before I gained from it all
Even the times I just wanted to fall…
the anchor did shift but was always there
What once was lost now perfectly clear
It settled in carving it’s way
finally no question It’s here to stay
out of sight I am pulled back in
To my ground, my earth It will always win
Spent my time searching It was always near
even in the mundane there’s nothing to fear
rest instead of drift is hardest to learn
But with it in place I find God’s grace
Picture Frame
You pick me up curbside my heart skips a beat
You have the agenda I’m in for treat
After 15 years there’s things I know for certain
When it comes to you and me there's nothing unspoken
We’ll talk till we solve everyone’s problems but never our own
Laugh at old stories Thinking we’ve finally grown (jokes one me)
Listen to your new favorite mix with daisies in our hair,
Stop where they all know your name it’s in a picture frame
That car really did crash no one believes us
in grandpa’s convertible no one could blame us
we saw the Dunkin’ Donuts somewhere around 5th street
Attempting to find it later, a payphone coiled in retreat
The freedom of the road brought us to Ames
We found love for our soldiers when the Navy Ship came
And all along it was you and me we need another
Oh there was that time when you kissed my brother
You Are Mine
How do I put into words who you are to me?
You are my breath, you are my heartbeat.
To be truly free is not an easy task
but on a cool May night, you got on your knee and asked.
You are mine, you are mine, you are mine, you are mine.
At my worst you loved me to my best
at my lowest you brought me above the rest
every night I fall asleep holding your gentle hand
you are my best friend, you re my soft place to land.
My whole world was made complete when I walked down to you
then our love grew to a fmaily of three from two.
If I thought I loved you before I had an awakening
to see you as her daddy is simply breathtaking.
Sometimes I get afraid to love you as much as I do
an honest fear you'll leave when the spell's through
even when I least deserve it I find you on my side
you are my safety net, my forever partner in crime.
Air That I Breathe
If I could make a wish
I think I'd pass
Can't think of anything I need
No cigarettes, no sleep, no light, no sound
Nothing to eat, no books to read
Making love with you
Has left me peaceful, warm, and tired
What more could I ask
There's nothing left to be desired
Peace came upon me and it leaves me weak
So sleep, silent angel, go to sleep
Sometimes, all I need is the air that I breathe
And to love you
All I need is the air that I breathe
Yes to love you
All I need is the air that I breathe
Peace came upon me and it leaves me weak
So sleep, silent angel, go to sleep
Sometimes, all I need is the air that I breathe
And to love you
All I need is the air that I breathe
Yes to love you